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Thread: Its Holiday Depression Time

  1. #1
    PSU Member RP McMurphy's Avatar
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    Its Holiday Depression Time

    Holiday Depression,Who's got it? Ya know its going around, I usually start to enjoy it right about this time of year.
    I know there some out there, I thought we'd all get together and hang out, as it were.
    This year I have double the fun after going 2000 mile (4000 if ya count coming back) on a wild goose chase to reconnect with my only daughter at her request
    only to have her turn her back on me like I was a stranger that needed to go. So yes, my holiday spirit has gotten up
    and left for good. So where are you, lets share how horrible our lives have been and we can all go together.
    What, you too afraid, afraid you'll go to hell? Could it be much worse then it already is, so why does it matter?
    I sit in the god forsaken house, in a god forsaken town trying to bury myself in making pipes, does it do any good?
    Hell no, very little people want to buy'em anymore. And No I'm not taking about you guys, I'm talking everywhere.
    Sold 4 pipes since I got back 2 where at a cut rate price. Yeah, I'm covering the bills.....just barely.
    I gave up everything for her, my home, most my belongings, my shop, my business and she took them all only to tell me 6-8 months later
    I had 2 months in which to find another place to live. Oh but, that's okay, I'll just brush myself off and start all over again at 65 yrs old.
    Living hand to mouth in a toilet I pay almost twice as much for that is half the size and the utilities are twice as much.
    Tell me, did I deserve this hell that was handed to me? I don't think so but, he sits up there looking down and does nothing.
    Oh, I have a lot to be thankful for but, when it does nothing for the quality of your life, what good is it?
    Okay, I've already said way too much and the only reason I posted it here to tell you the truth is it probably
    won't be seen by too many anyway. There's not even a reason you need reply, just wanted to blow off a little steam
    even it be in an empty room. Thank you for listening, now what size rope do you think I should buy?
    "JUST HONEST HANDMADE SMOKING PIPES"

    http://rdpipes.briar.club/

  2. #2
    PSU Member Fr_Tom's Avatar
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    I will observe things rarely turn out the way you plan. The thing is to focus on the things you can control, and try not to focus too much on the things that have a mind of their own.

    I seem to be fairly immune to the SAD/holiday blues/whatever. This is not to say I don't have my own struggles, but I don't think I have many expectations for the holidays. I know it will be a pile of work with pastoral care, and I will have extra services to keep me busy. The church year is periodic by nature, and there are seasons of feasting and seasons of fasting. I roll with it as best I can.

    We are always glad to hear from you, and I know I am sorry to hear you are discouraged right now.
    "Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys" Roughing It, Mark Twain

  3. #3
    Moderator Markus1970's Avatar
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    Hello Ron,

    Rest assured this is not an empty room, people are listening and they care, and even when there might be little that I can say, I can say that it makes a difference that you are around. I think I can speak for all of us that you are very welcome to vent whenever you feel like it.

    I know from personal experience (thankfully long in the past by now, and before I joined here) that the pipe forums can be a refuge in times when nothing in one's life seems to go right any more. At the time it was even helpful just to post about pipes and tobacco.

    Even when we see just a handle on the screen, we know there is a person behind it, and while we don't know all the details of their life, it can't be as glossy all the time as the artificial Christmas cheer of retailers would have us believe.

    But there is more help out there than we sometimes think.

    I always type Best wishes at the end of my post, but is not always just a phrase.

    Best wishes
    Markus

  4. #4
    Moderator jimbo44's Avatar
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    Don't know what to say my friend.

    Rejection is always bad - but from you're own!

    No rejection here (but I understand we're not the real world).
    Work is the curse of the smoking classes

  5. #5
    PSU Member Rockbass's Avatar
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    This is a safe, welcoming space Ron.
    The English make good ropes, even though they taste and smell like tyre fires when one smokes them.
    Last edited by Rockbass; 11-30-2019 at 19:25.
    I can resist anything but temptation.

  6. #6
    PSU Owner dmcmtk's Avatar
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    Hang in there Ron, I know that's not much advice, but it's something we all have to do in life from time to time. You don't want to hear me vent, I could do it almost daily!


  7. #7
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    Ro n at least I like to hear from your posts. I now have someone who shows me unconditional love no not a human being it's a new puppy. I bought myself a English Springer Spaniel.

    Jon

  8. #8
    PSU Member RP McMurphy's Avatar
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    I have never talked about this ever, to anyone and I still feel hesitant to continue specially on open forum but, I'll try see'en I've already said too much already.
    I'm sure at least a few here recognize my real disability, Bipolar/Depression. Something I've been dealing with my whole life and self medicating.
    But, since I quite drinking and the other things 25 or more years ago its been hard to cope with, specially these last few years. I try to bury myself
    in something and it works for awhile only to raise its ugly head again when I have time to think. No, its not just the holidays although it always comes around
    during this time. When the old woman and I was together (even though we never talked) it was almost non-existent. A dog or pet would be
    a nice addition but, as much as I love the little critters I can't have one. There too expensive to take care of and because I am who I am, I have a bad
    temper and do not want to take it out on them. My physical pain from my 3 bulging disks is nothing compared the the mental pain I go through monthly.
    I know its going to be hard to understand for some how mental anguish can be more debilitating the physical pain but, you have to walk a mile in my shoes.
    I'm not a wimp by no means but, I'm sure some will think that, I know I have when I've seen a person washing his dirty laundry in public, so to speak as I am now.
    I wish for death countless times but, it never comes. I won't take my own life because I believe in Hell. Sometimes I think I'm Cartaphilus who was damn to walk the
    earth for eternity for what he had done. I've asked God many times to just let me die. I'm still here. No, I'm not having a bad day, I wish that's what it was.
    I'm having a bad life. Well, that's about as much as I dare go into, so when you think you've just about had it or are having a bad day maybe you can think of me,
    my bad days can last a week or more. I've gone several days without even eating because I haven't an appetite from it. I'm afraid his thread may come back to haunt me
    but, I reckon it really doesn't matter too much now anymore. Thank you all for trying to understand, I know its probably hard understand a mental defective never being there.
    Just be thankful your sane so to speak.

    PS. If you have any respect for me, please lets not make this anymore news then it already is .
    "JUST HONEST HANDMADE SMOKING PIPES"

    http://rdpipes.briar.club/

  9. #9
    PSU Member Yohanan's Avatar
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    You are a Good Man Ron, [I know it's easier said than done} But Hang In There.
    Last edited by Yohanan; 12-01-2019 at 03:51.
    Smoke What You Like, And Like What You Smoke...Regardless Of What Anyone Else Thinks...

  10. #10
    PSU Member Fr_Tom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RP McMurphy View Post
    I'm sure at least a few here recognize my real disability, Bipolar/Depression.
    I know this one can be a challenge to regulate with meds. It can take a few trips to get levels of things in the bloodstream adjusted, and there is a tendency to go off the meds when things are going well. I hope you are seeing someone to sort through all this.

    I am not sure if a 12-step program has been part of your recovery. If you came into my office and told me what you have said, I would make sure you were seeing a doctor and getting to meetings.

    Quote Originally Posted by RP McMurphy View Post
    I know its going to be hard to understand for some how mental anguish can be more debilitating the physical pain but, you have to walk a mile in my shoes.
    It is not hard to understand at all. Only you really know what you are experiencing, but I can totally appreciate that it is more debilitating.
    "Prov'dence don't fire no blank ca'tridges, boys" Roughing It, Mark Twain

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