Minor alterations. The third paragraph in this essay is rewritten. This is how I assume it will appear in the published PSU magazine article, barring editorial intervention, of course...

"Over the years, I’ve learned that ladies love the trace of smoldering pipe tobacco about my presence. There is something about the scent of pipe smoke that makes the unsuspecting and uninitiated weak in the knees, soft in the ankles, and susceptible to emotional distraction. When you smoke a pipe, everything works in your favor come hell, high water, ebb tide, or red tide. Pipe smokers stroll through the world with confidence. They know they smell good. When you smell good, the wind blows at your back."

... Just a little tweaking, in the best way, I think. Sometimes best line is first line, but when you have to take the whole composition into consideration, you have to cut and massage, throw some lines away in order to make the whole thing better. No reader cared about Mary Poppins anyway. The author didn't. There may not be fifty shades of ash gray, but there are more than fifty ways to tell a story.

If you like or dislike what you read in the magazine, write a letter to the editor! Tell him/her that you think an article like this belongs or not in a pipe smokers' publication, and tell that editor why. Use the strongest words possible.

Read and smoke in good health,